I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
