Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
