Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
