I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
