just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
