Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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