I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
