What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
