i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
