I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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