AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
