saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
