i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize