Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
