i wish peter jackson would direct porn
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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