Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
