you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
