he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
