I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
