He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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