Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
