didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
