so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
