i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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