There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
