i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We need a shit load of segways right now
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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