she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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