You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
