You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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