Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
