Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
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I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
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He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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