He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
