how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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