yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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