he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
