i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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