this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
