Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
