if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
