There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
