Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
