After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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