I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
