This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
