Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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