I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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