Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
