Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
So here I am, sexting at work.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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