1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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