I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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