I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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