feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
