Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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