your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
