If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
