i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
