The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
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