On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
