I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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