she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
