That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
