Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
