you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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