i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
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After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
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I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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